If you are going to be a Surrogate and you plan to have any kind of in-person relationship with the Intended Parents you are carrying a baby for, you may be nervous about meeting them for the first time. This is a completely normal thing and it can actually be good: it is a sign that you are ready and willing to make this relationship one that is positive and productive. After all, depending on the terms of your agreement, you will be spending more than a year with these parents from the start of the process to the end.
So how can you reduce some of that anxiety around meeting Intended Parents for the first time? Have a list of questions ready so that you can make conversation if there is a lull – and so that you can gather important information about the parents, their goals, and how they want this process to go. Yes, you can talk to your caseworker, but hearing it from the parents can be better.
For more information about becoming a Surrogate Mother in the United States, click here to read our informational guide.
Start With Ice Breaker Questions
The first time you talk to Intended Parents, you both will be nervous. Asking ice breaker questions that are easier for them to answer can help everyone get a little more comfortable. These don’t have to be deep, probing questions, but they can elicit deeper answers that can help you form a connection.
Some example questions of ice breakers include:
- Why do you want to become parents?
- What is your family like?
- What values do you want to pass onto your child?
- Why did you want to pursue surrogacy?
- What excites you about this process?
- What scares you about the surrogacy journey?
These questions can lead to deeper conversations where you can get a better idea about what it will be like to work with these parents throughout your journey.
Ask Questions About Goals
You also want to talk to the Intended Parents about your goals for the surrogacy journey – and you want to get a good idea about what their goals are as well. These questions can be open ended or specific, depending on how you ask them and what kinds of answers you want.
Here are some sample questions you can ask:
- When are you hoping to start?
- How many embryos do you want to transfer at a time? How many times?
- Are you using any egg donors or sperm donors?
- How do you feel about selective reduction and termination?
- How do you plan to be involved in this process?
You want to think about your own answers to these questions as well. Once you know how you feel, you will be able to quantify their responses and gauge whether or not this is a good Surrogate and Intended Parents match.
Leave Room For More Questions
As you start to talk to the Intended Parents that you might work with, you will come up with more questions naturally and they will have plenty of questions for you as well. Be sure to give time to answer those questions. This isn’t going to be a one-sided meeting, and everyone will only have so much time.
Still, it might be a good idea to exchange email addresses or even phone numbers (talk to your agency about doing so) to get more answers to your questions and any future questions.
Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today
Becoming a Surrogate is one of the most selfless things you can do, and you want to ensure that the process is a good one for you. We are here for you whenever you make that choice to become a Surrogate and then when you are matched with Intended Parents. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation.
Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.