As an Intended Parent going through the surrogacy process, it can be extremely difficult to prepare for your first meeting with your Surrogate. Why? It feels like a bit of a job interview and you don’t want to come across too strong or scare someone away. Surely, if you have gone through your own fertility journey and struggled, dealing with another loss or the idea of missing another chance can weigh heavily in your mind.
We understand that fear, but you also need to know that Surrogates are among some of the most selfless people on the planet. They are there to help you and many of them understand your fears. If you are worried, one way to ensure that your first meeting goes well is to prepare a list of questions to prepare for the surrogacy process.
When you first meet your potential Surrogate, you are going to be extremely nervous and you might want to “break the ice.” You probably don’t have a ton of time for these questions, but they can be a good way to open up conversations and get everyone a little more comfortable with each other.
Some great icebreaker questions that are still productive include:
- What is important to you in life?
- Why are you interested in being a Surrogate? Have you been one before?
- What is your own family like?
- Why do you like being pregnant?
- What are your interests?
These questions are likely to open the door to other types of questions and conversations, which is what you want. You want to become comfortable with each other and really get to know each other.
Asking About The Surrogacy Experience
Gradually, you want to move into questions about the surrogacy experience and what this potential Surrogate wants to get out of everything. These questions can be somewhat probing and you want to pay attention to not only the verbal answers, but also the body language as she answers the question.
Here are some of those questions you may want to consider:
- How did you find out about surrogacy?
- How have your pregnancies been in the past?
- Have you discussed surrogacy with your partner? How about your family?
- Are you familiar with the medical process involved with surrogacy?
- Have you talked to any surrogates previously?
- What are you hoping to gain from surrogacy?
These questions are simply used to gauge what the surrogacy experience will be like for you. You may want to ask questions about communication, appointments, and milestones as well.
Questions Not To Ask Surrogates
Of course, there are going to be questions not to ask Surrogates as well. You don’t necessarily want to ask about delicate medical conditions outside of what you already know (if you work with a surrogacy agency, they will have done the research for you on any medical conditions you need to know about).
You want to think about the different ways you word your questions. It may be a good idea to run your questions by your caseworker before you ask them to your Surrogate.
If there are questions that may create friction in your relationship, you might want to practice asking them in a different way or a way that doesn’t cause as much discomfort.
Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today
Finding the right Surrogate to help you build your family can be quite difficult, and as this is a big decision to make, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. At EDSI, we are here for you whenever you make that choice. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation.
Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.