Common Questions I Hear Every Day
A surrogacy journey is the process through which intended parents and a surrogate work together to bring a child into the world. It begins with medical and psychological screening, matching, and legal agreements, followed by IVF, embryo transfer, pregnancy, and delivery. Beyond the medical steps, it is also an emotional partnership built on trust, communication, and shared goals. Every surrogacy journey is unique, but the outcome is the creation of a family.
The surrogacy process happens when embryos created through IVF are transferred to a surrogate who carries the pregnancy for intended parents. It sounds simple, but the reality is filled with human connection and emotion.
I have guided married couples, single parents, and LGBTQ+ parents from across the United States and from many countries around the world. Surrogacy is not reserved for one kind of family.
The cost depends on medical treatment, surrogate compensation, and legal protections. Its between $150,000 to $230,000.
No. Many international parents come to the United States because the laws here provide clearer parentage protections and strong medical standards.
Why I Do This Work
In my years guiding families through the surrogacy journey, I have learned that every path is unique. These lessons and stories continue to shape how I see family building.”In this field you do not last unless you believe deeply in what you do. For most of my adult life I have helped families grow through surrogacy. I have sat with parents in quiet waiting rooms, listened to surrogates share their hopes, and stood in hospital rooms when the cry of a newborn changed everything.
When I founded the Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI), I thought I was building a service. What I created was something much greater. Lifelong relationships. Journeys that showed me how powerful love and courage can be.
The Surrogacy Journey Process: More Than Paperwork
People often ask me to explain surrogacy step by step. The stages are screening, matching, contracts, embryo transfer, pregnancy, and birth. That part is clear.
But what I have learned is that behind every stage are people holding on to hope. Screening is not only about medical history. It is about knowing whether someone has the emotional strength to be a surrogate. Matching is not only about forms. It is about shared values. Legal contracts are not only paperwork. They are protection and peace of mind.
Surrogacy works best when everyone feels seen, respected, and supported.
Stories That Shaped Me
The First Journey I Guided
The first surrogacy case I managed involved parents from Europe. Their embryos had been created after years of IVF and this was their last chance. Their surrogate was a gentle mother from California who felt called to help. Every surrogacy journey brings challenges and triumphs.
At six weeks we learned she was carrying twins. Complications came later and the journey required constant coordination between the fertility clinic, the OB, the surrogate’s family, and the parents who traveled for every milestone. I checked in every day. The twins arrived early but healthy. I can still see the tears in their parents’ eyes when they held them for the first time.
The Case That Changed My View
A single father in China contacted me after his mother passed away. Her last wish was for him to have a child. We matched him with a surrogate who had also lost a parent. Their grief created a bond I had never seen before.
When his daughter was born, the surrogate placed the baby in his arms and said, “She is your light now.” That moment reminded me that surrogacy is not only about creating families. It is also about healing.
Surrogacy for All Families
At EDSI I have guided:
- Same sex couples who want to raise children in a world that sometimes questions their right to do so
- Single parents who choose to build a family on their own
- International parents from Asia, Europe, and Latin America who trust the United States for its laws and medical care
Every journey proves the same truth. Families are built by love.
Challenges Along the Way
No matter how carefully you plan, surrogacy can bring surprises. Embryo transfers are not always successful. Legal contracts sometimes need revisions. Surrogates can face unexpected changes in their personal lives.
I have seen intended parents devastated by failed transfers. I have seen surrogates withdraw after contracts because of emergencies. In one case, the parents had to rematch quickly. It was painful.
What sets EDSI apart is that we do not disappear when things get hard. If a transfer fails, I do not send an email and walk away. I call. I listen. We reset together. That is what real guidance looks like.
What I Tell First Time Parents and Surrogates
To intended parents beginning their first journey I say this. Build a relationship with your surrogate. You do not need to be best friends. But gratitude and respect matter.
To first time surrogates I say this. Choose an agency that protects your emotional well being. Ask how they will support you. Ask about surrogate compensation. You are doing something extraordinary and you deserve extraordinary care.
Lessons in Heart Work
Every surrogacy journey reminds me that the strongest families are not always born in the traditional sense. Some are built piece by piece with trust, resilience, and love.
Surrogacy is more than medicine. It is heart work. And it is why I continue to walk beside families whether they come from California, New York, China, France, or anywhere else in the world.
Ready to Begin Your Journey?
If you are considering surrogacy as a couple, a single parent, or as part of the LGBTQ+ community, know that you do not have to take the first step alone.
Book Your Consultationwww.eggdonorandsurrogacy.com
CALL: 310-209-1898
EMAIL: edsi@eggdonorandsurrogacy.com
About the Author
Parham Zar is the Managing Director of Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI) and a leading expert in third-party reproduction. With over 20 years of experience working alongside top fertility clinics and surrogacy professionals, he has guided hundreds of families through surrogacy and egg donation. Parham specializes in intended parent advocacy, surrogate care, and international family-building, and is recognized globally for his expertise in surrogacy and egg donation.
