Too often, surrogacy is treated like a last resort. It’s misunderstood, oversimplified, or dismissed as something people turn to only when “everything else fails.” But that view doesn’t reflect what I’ve seen over the past two decades working with families from all over the world.
Surrogacy is not a last resort. It is another kind of brave. Another kind of love. Another way to become a mother when the traditional road becomes impossible to walk.
I’ve supported cancer survivors, couples who’ve faced years of heartbreak, and LGBTQ+ parents determined to raise children in safe and loving homes. Their stories aren’t about giving up. They are about refusing to give up.
In this blog, I want to offer a more honest view of surrogacy. One that honors the emotional depth, the trust between strangers, and the real power of choosing to grow a family in a different way.
Surrogacy Is Not a Last Resort
When people imagine motherhood, they often picture pregnancy. A baby shower. A newborn resting on a mother’s chest. That’s a beautiful version of motherhood, but it’s not the only one.
Some women adopt. Some foster. Some rely on IVF. And some turn to another woman to carry their child when their body won’t allow it.
That’s surrogacy. It deserves to be spoken about with pride, not apology.
Becoming a Mother Through Surrogacy
Motherhood doesn’t begin in the delivery room. It starts in the waiting rooms. In the quiet heartbreak after another failed cycle. In the steady hope that says, “I’ll try again.”
Surrogacy is not about giving up. It’s about creating something together. The surrogate brings her body. The intended parent brings her heart. Both give something no one else can.
I’ve seen the tears during the first ultrasound. I’ve read the letters parents write to their surrogate, trying to express the inexpressible. I’ve been in the room where the baby is born and watched everyone cry, not out of sadness, but out of awe.
These are not stories of failure. They are stories of extraordinary connection.
Why Choose Surrogacy
People often ask, “Why not just adopt?” or “Could you really let someone else carry your baby?” These questions may come from a place of curiosity, but they can carry judgment.
Surrogacy is not easy. It’s more expensive, more complex, and emotionally demanding. It requires trust in others, in timelines, in outcomes no one can control.
And still, people choose it. Because their love for the child they haven’t met yet is stronger than their fear.
I once worked with a woman who had lost four pregnancies. Her surrogate carried her daughter to term. They still exchange cards every year. That kind of bond isn’t rare. It just doesn’t get talked about enough.
Support for LGBTQ+ Surrogacy and All Families
Families come in many forms. Surrogacy has made it possible for same-sex couples and single parents to have biological children. It also offers hope for people facing medical challenges, or who simply choose this path for personal reasons.
Support for LGBTQ+ surrogacy means expanding our understanding of what makes a parent. It means recognizing intention, love, and the willingness to walk a difficult road to build something lasting.
Thinking About Surrogacy?
If you are considering surrogacy, you are not behind. You are not less of a mother. You are someone who wants a child and is exploring how to make that happen.
Ask questions. Read stories. Connect with professionals who understand this path. And most of all, listen to your own heart.
Surrogacy is not a last resort. It is a real and valid way to become a parent.
Book a Free Consultation
If you want to learn more about surrogacy or are ready to start your journey, we’re here to help.
Book your free consultation today
Parham Zar is the founder and managing director of the Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute (EDSI). He has spent two decades helping people become parents through third-party reproduction, with a focus on international and LGBTQ+ families.
Instagram: @parhamzar | @eggdonorandsurrogacy
