If you’re working with EDSI, chances are the surrogate you were matched with is very similar to you in terms of personality and values. However, regardless of the circumstances, there’s also some possibility that you don’t share the same religious and/ or cultural beliefs. What then? No doubt, worlds are converging. You’re all excited and filled with gratitude over the arrival or potential arrival of a little one and this also happens to be the time of year where people honor their family traditions, so it’s totally natural that you’d want to share them with your surrogate. Yet, if she doesn’t share the same background, it’s equally important to respect her values and traditions as well. The good news is, you can still share seasonal joy in a meaningful way without stepping on one another’s toes. Here’s how.
1) Focus on Joy and Sharing, Not the Holidays
While the individual holidays may be the reason for your joyous spirit, there’s no reason why they have to be the focal point in your interactions. If you normally spend time with your surrogate outside of baby-related appointments, come up with non-religious activities to participate in. You may both enjoy sipping on cocoa while looking at lights, taking both your families out for a snow day, or sharing a nice meal together.
2) Don’t Sweat Slip-Ups
Did you inadvertently wish her a merry Christmas when she celebrates Hanukkah, Diwali, or Kwanzaa? She knows where your heart is which is why she chose to work with you and understands that your holidays are special to you. Chances are, religion came up during your initial talks; she knows the baby she’s carrying will be brought up with your faith and, not only accepts the differences, but supports you too. Slip-ups aren’t a major cause for concern, so long as you genuinely respect her right to have separate beliefs.
3) Learn About Her Traditions
Do a little legwork to learn what you can about her traditions and why she has them. Bear in mind, this doesn’t have to be religious traditions, but could be things her family does to commemorate the season, like lighting a tree, throwing a Yule log in the fireplace, or sharing a special food. If it feels natural to do so, try participating in a few of her traditions. Learning as much as you can about her background and preferences will also help you respond appropriately as special days and events approach.
4) Include Her in Your Traditions
Do you send out cards every year or throw a big holiday bash? Do you enjoy giving people cocoa or cookie mixes? Don’t hesitate to invite her or include her if it feels natural to do so. She may decline, but will no doubt be touched by the fact you thought of her. If it makes sense to do so, consider hosting a joint celebration that honors both your traditions at the same time.
Find Your Ideal Surrogate Match with EDSI
If you haven’t already found a surrogate, give EDSI a call. We work with parents and surrogates from all types of backgrounds, spend a great deal of time getting to know our clients, and help match them up based on the things that matter most. This not only ensures the pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible, but that it’s an enjoyable experience for everyone which often results in lifelong bonds. We’ll also make sure everything is seen to throughout the process; from legal concerns through medical, so you can focus on preparing for the little one and enjoying time with your loved ones. Call us at (213) 423-7997 to learn more or begin your surrogacy journey today.