If you are someone that is looking to be a parent and you are considering surrogacy, you may have looked to Hollywood as an example of what you will experience. While it isn’t generally a bad idea to get an idea of what to expect, Hollywood doesn’t always give the best representation. As we are a surrogacy agency located in Beverly Hills, California, we know a thing or two about Hollywood’s depiction of becoming a parent through the use of a surrogate. In films and on television, Hollywood tends to overdramatize the experience quite a bit; they can do the same thing for real-life news stories about popular celebrities that use surrogacy.
Unfortunately, these instances of overdramatization and misreporting have led to many people thinking that using a gestational surrogate is something that it isn’t. Here are some of our favorite (and least favorite) takes on using a surrogate:
(If you are interested in finding out how being a surrogate differs from the Hollywood portrayal, read last month’s blog here.)
Celebrities Who Use Surrogacy
Many celebrities who have revealed that they used surrogacy are some of the biggest names in Hollywood – Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and Neil Patrick Harris, for example. Often, these A-listers make it seem like only the rich and famous can afford surrogacy. It may seem like you need to “know someone” to make it possible. This cannot be further from the truth – while many celebrities use surrogates (including many that may never reveal it), many everyday people use it as well.
Surrogacy is an expense that you have to plan for, but it isn’t so expensive that it is restrictive. If this is important to you, it is something that is possible. Working with an agency is the best way to ensure that you are getting the treatment and care that you need – working outside of an agency can have costs that add up since you will have to outsource everything.
The Surrogacy Trap
If you mention surrogacy to many women, the first thing they think about is the Lifetime movie The Surrogacy Trap. This is a thriller movie that portrays surrogates as having dark backgrounds, criminal activity, and even drug use.
The truth is that all surrogates are thoroughly screened on multiple levels – any trusted surrogacy agency will vet every single person they work with, including egg donors and surrogates. Women are tested for drug use, have to undergo background checks, and even speak to therapists and psychiatrists before they are accepted into the surrogacy rotation. If a woman shows, in any way, that she is not fit to be a surrogate, she will not be allowed to do so.
We talked about Baby Mama from a surrogacy standpoint last month, but it also shows quite a bit from the intended parent side. Tina Fey is a woman who wants to be a parent and goes through an agency to become one. It is a very funny movie, but it just isn’t accurate. Fey is expected to do way more throughout the process than would actually be expected in reality. She is responsible for housing, feeding, and even paying for random expenses for the surrogate. In reality, some altruistic intended parents do help with certain costs for the surrogate, including clothing, massages, and maybe a few gifts. However, a surrogacy agency ensures that the women chosen to be surrogates are independent and can take care of themselves. They have their own healthcare, cars, and money to buy things like food and basic needs.
Ready To Become A Parent Through Surrogacy?
Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever – it will give you a family that you will cherish. Often, Hollywood dramatizes surrogacy in the worst possible light – you hear horror stories and cautionary tales about experiences that most people will never encounter. While that may make for some great performances and plotlines, it isn’t something you should take seriously. Instead, you should talk to the people who are doing the work every single day. If you are interested in becoming a parent through surrogacy, contact EDSI today to discuss.