Do’s (And Don’ts) Of Working With A Surrogate

We get it – working with a Surrogate isn’t something that comes naturally to anyone. For most people, it isn’t something that you’ve seen before or a relationship that you’ve had. That doesn’t mean it has to be hard or awkward. In fact, many Surrogate and Intended Parent relationships are easy and comfortable for everyone involved. But you do need to put in some work to get there. 

We’ve worked with hundreds of families and brought thousands of babies into the world – we know how to work with all different kinds of Surrogates. Here are some tips:

Do: Have Open & Honest Communication

We’ve talked about the importance of open and honest communication before – and we will always stress that between our Surrogates, Egg Donors, Intended Parents, workers, and medical professionals. Like any relationship, the better communication is, the better everything will be. 

Communication can fill the happy moments with more joy and help to alleviate stress. It can even make the hard times – if there are any – more tolerable. Our team has great advice for how to keep communication open.

Don’t: Overshare Or Expect Too Much

While you want to be friendly with your Surrogate, you don’t want to overwhelm them with information or communication. It may take you a little time to find that line, and that’s okay. Just as you shouldn’t overshare with them, don’t expect them to overshare with you. While the Surrogate may want to share the pertinent information about her pregnancy, she may not always be open to discussing all aspects of it. 

Do: Find Someone You Like

At EDSI, we really want you to like your Surrogate as a person. We fill our profiles with a ton of information so that you can find someone who maybe has similar interests to you or you can tell has a personality like yours. This can be hard to find, but when you do, it is like magic.

Now, not all Surrogate and Intended Parent relationships have to be close, but you will be working together on this, and it is always better to like that person. After all, she will be in your life for nearly a year, if not more.

Don’t: Assume They Want To Maintain Contact

Another thing you absolutely want to do is talk to your Surrogate before signing any contract about her expectations after the baby is born. Does she want to stay in contact or not? You can’t always assume that she wants to be in contact with you forever, though in some situations she may want to be. 

This is a conversation that your caseworker will facilitate, but you should think about what you want for your child before you start looking at profiles.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Finding the right fit can be quite difficult, and as this is a big decision to make taking all the time you need to make those decisions is imperative. We are here for you whenever you make that choice. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation.

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

Do’s (And Don’ts) Of Using An Egg Donor

Working with an Egg Donor is something that you don’t want to do without a little bit of research – after all, that person is donating half of their DNA to your future child. This could be one of the most important decisions that you ever make, and it can define the life of your child. At EDSI, we’ve been working with Egg Donors to build families for over 20 years, and we have some great experiences that can help you to make your journey the smoothest one possible. 

Here are some of our do’s (and don’ts) for working with an Egg Donor:

Do: Work With A Trusted Agency

This is a serious undertaking and requires experience to get everything done properly. Even if you know someone who is willing to be an Egg Donor for you, you should consider working with an agency. An Egg Donor can pass on genetic traits – good and bad – to your child, so you want to ensure that you work with a notable clinic when choosing the donor, getting the eggs, and implanting them.

Picking an Egg Donor is a big step that an agency can help you with, as most have pre-screen Egg Donors already in their systems. This can help to make the process faster and safer.

Do: Stay Picky

Look through a bunch of Egg Donors and still don’t see someone who matches your wants or needs? Keep looking! This isn’t a time to settle for “good enough.” You want to find the Egg Donor that has the genetics you’d want for your child. Most agencies will have a registry that makes searching for specific traits, like hair color or eye color, rather easy.

Most Egg Donors are already cleared for any major genetic issues, so you won’t have to worry about digging into their medical past. Still, you should pay attention to their overall health.

Don’t: Have Unrealistic Expectations

On the same token, you want to have realistic expectations. You might want to find someone with very specific genes, but they won’t always be there. For example, you may not be able to find someone who has blonde hair, blue eyes, a great singing voice, was a quarterback at a Division 1 school, and became a brain surgeon.

You can stay picky and keep having unrealistic expectations, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

Don’t: Wait Too Long To Start

While we certainly encourage you to take your time once you have started, we also encourage you to start soon. This process can take a long time, depending on your needs. If you want to use a Surrogate to build your family, that can add even more time to your journey.

EDSI has already done a lot of the background work for you, but not all agencies have done that. We can make the process faster, but it is still important to ensure that all of the details are finalized and perfected.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Finding the right fit can be quite difficult, and as this is a big decision to make taking all the time you need to make those decisions is imperative. We are here for you whenever you make that choice. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation.

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

6 Different Ways You Can Support Your Surrogate

Pregnancy can take a lot out of a woman, even for those who enjoy being pregnant, and there are a few different ways that you can support your Surrogate as an Intended Parent – even if she doesn’t live near you. As one of the leading international surrogacy agencies in California, we have helped make this process one that everyone enjoys, and we have some tips on what you can do:

Tell Her You Support Her

There are many different ways to show your support, but sometimes women want to hear that they are being supported in their journeys. Make sure that you communicate with her and tell her that you support her – verbally and in writing, if possible. 

You can’t do this one time, you need to convey it as often as possible to ensure she really understands that fact – if you don’t have regular communication, be sure to talk to your case worker to have them pass on the information.

Encourage Her To Talk To Other Surrogates

Many surrogacy agencies, including EDSI will have support groups for Surrogates. These groups are online and sometimes in person, allowing these women to get together and talk about their experiences. While you are involved in this journey together, it is important to know that you can’t really know all the thoughts that are going on in her head – though other Surrogates will understand.

Be Mindful Of Her Personal Information

Before Surrogates and Intended Parents work together, they come to an agreement about communication and how involved they will be in each other’s lives. It is important to know that one of the stipulations for becoming a Surrogate is that the woman has had children of her own already. This means there will be hard times in her life – days her children don’t listen to her, days someone in her life makes her mad, and maybe even days where she just doesn’t feel great.

She doesn’t have to share this information with you. Don’t push her to share anything she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing outside of information about your baby.

Find Ways You Can Treat Her Every So Often

While EDSI does work some room into the budget for massages and some personal care, it may be a good idea to treat your Surrogate. This isn’t necessary, but it is a great way to support from a distance. Consider getting her a gift card for dinner, sending flowers or nice little treats, or something else that will fit her personality.

See If She Needs Help With Something

Being pregnant can cause certain things to become difficult to do – like cleaning your house. If you are talking to your Surrogate, check in to see if she is doing okay or if she needs help with something. While you can’t necessarily go and clean her house for her, you may be able to get a company to come clean it. 

You should always check with the caseworker and the Surrogate herself to see if this is something she’d like, it could be a great way to show support.

Don’t Stop Your Support Once The Baby Is Born

Often (but not always), Intended Parents will almost immediately shift their attention to their newborn baby. This is understandable! However, it is a good idea to ask about your Surrogate and check in to ensure that everything is going well. 

Your caseworker can help you to navigate the sometimes tricky world of showing support – if you are ever concerned that something doesn’t quite fit in with your agreement, it is better to check.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

Tips For Fostering Communication Between Surrogates & Intended Parents

Starting any new relationship can be difficult, whether it is a romantic relationship, friendship, or even with a coworker. Starting a new relationship between a Surrogate Mother and the Intended Parents of the baby she carries is even harder because you likely don’t have experience in this type of relationship. 

While EDSI will help you to build up a relationship that meets both of your needs, there are some tips you need to know about fostering communication and ensuring that everyone feels safe and involved in the process:

Determine The Type Of Communication You’d Like

There are different types of communication that you can try within this relationship. Some people like to exchange phone numbers and keep in contact that way, with rules about calling or texting. Other people prefer to talk when they are at appointments. One of the more popular options is to communicate via email.

Determine The Amount Of Communication You’d Like

Before you even choose a Surrogate, you should know how much communication you’d like with that person. The Surrogate will be told that information before she agrees to work with you. Some people will only want communication around the time of appointments, even though they will get updates from their case workers, it calms them to hear the information directly from the Surrogate.

Other people want more frequent updates directly from the Surrogate – it all depends on what everyone is comfortable doing.

Try To Keep Communication Positive

Another thing to consider is the tone of voice you use and how the conversations go. You don’t want to have angry or sad conversations with each other, especially if there is something going on – let those more intense conversations be handled by the agency and caseworkers.

If there is information that needs to be shared, absolutely share it, but anything that is extreme should come from the agency.

Be Clear When You’re Speaking

This is a difficult time for a lot of people, and clarity is extremely important when you have those conversations. It may be best to write down a list of topics that you want to cover before you write your email or speak on the phone. This can help to ensure you don’t have to make multiple calls.

Don’t Be Afraid To Include Your Caseworker

At EDSI, our caseworkers have a lot of experience in handling relationships between Surrogates and Intended Parents, which means we have seen it all. If you have any issues with communication, we are there to help you. However, problems are extremely rare as we work to ensure that everyone is on the same page before starting the surrogacy journey.

If things do get tough, or you just want to know more information about what is going on, our case workers can help you get the information that you need.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Finding the right fit can be quite difficult, and as this is a big decision to make taking all the time you need to make those decisions is imperative. We are here for you whenever you make that choice. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation.

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

Do Gay Couples Face Particular Problems During Surrogacy? EDSI Answers

Do gay couples face problems during their surrogacy journeys that straight couples may not face? While, in many instances, their experiences will be similar, there are some particular challenges that gay couples face. This is why it is so important to work with a surrogacy agency that has vast experience with LGBT parents.

What Are Some Of The Challenges?
Almost all couples who take the surrogacy journey will face particular challenges – what do you want in a Surrogate? When do you want to start? What agency do you want to use? How do you want to tell friends? However, gay couples face other problems – like who will be the biological parent of the baby? How does the legal process work? Will all Surrogates be okay with LGBT parents?

If you have any of these questions, you aren’t alone. Recently, Parham Zar, our Managing Director wrote a guest article for Gay Weddings & Marriage Magazine, and you can read his answers here.

Thinking of Starting Your Family Through Surrogacy? Give Us A Call Today
Throughout the surrogacy journey, we recruit Egg Donors and Surrogates to match them with Intended Parents, including those who cannot conceive on their own, single parents, and gay parents. From there, we seamlessly orchestrate the fertility journey through pregnancy and delivery. We make it a rule to be active problem solvers and advocates for our clients, making their experiences pleasant and hassle-free.

It would be our honor to help you grow your family. Please give us a call today so that we can start building your family on your own schedule. We look forward to speaking with you.

Contact

Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute (EDSI)

8624 Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, CA 90211

edsi@eggdonorandsurrogacy.com

1.866.344.3662

5 Myths About Being A Surrogate – And The Truth Behind Them

There are many different myths out there about becoming a Surrogate and what it will mean for your life. Some of these myths are closely related to reality, and others are completely off base. While we enjoy some of those movies and TV shows that highlight surrogacy, it can be difficult to fight some of the stereotypes and misconceptions they reinforce.

These are the most common myths and misconceptions that we see on a regular basis:

Myth – Anyone Is Able To Be A Surrogate

This one is difficult because while technically almost any woman in good health could be a Surrogate, that isn’t how it works in reality. A woman who wants to be a Surrogate needs to meet a lengthy list of requirements, including age and weight requirements as well as physical and background checks. 

Women cannot be a Surrogate if they haven’t had their own children or they no longer have legal custody of their children.

Myth – As A Surrogate, I Will Need To Carry Multiple Babies

You will not need to carry multiples. However, if you are willing to carry multiple children, it may open up your possibilities and increase the amount of money you will make as a Surrogate. Even so, you can indicate that on your Surrogate profile, and potential parents will know right away whether that is an option for you.

The same is true for becoming a repeat Surrogate – if you aren’t willing to get pregnant again, you have no obligation to do so.

Myth – It Isn’t Legal For Me To Be A Surrogate

While it is true that some states and countries have very, very strict laws about surrogacy, there are other states that aren’t so strict about it. Just because you live in a state where surrogacy has tighter regulations doesn’t disqualify you from being one. 

If you want to become a Surrogate in the United States, it is possible for you to do so, though it may be more difficult. You can always travel into states that have more lenient laws surrounding surrogacy, including California, Arizona, and a few others. 

If you have any questions about the legality of surrogacy, feel free to reach out to EDSI and we can help you better understand your options.

Myth – I Will Be Related To The Baby I Carry

With very, very few exceptions, this is absolutely not true. In fact, it is safer for everyone involved that the Surrogate Mother is not related to the baby she carries, even if the Intended Parents need to use an Egg Donor. 

Most Intended Parents will go through their agency for both the Egg Donor and Surrogate if this is the case, helping to ensure that everything is on the right track and all of the information needed is correct.

Myth – I Will Be Able To Gain Legal Custody Of The Child If I Form A Connection

This one is definitely not true at all. Any fertility clinic and surrogacy agency will ask potential Surrogates to undergo a psychological evaluation prior to signing any contracts or entering into a surrogacy agreement. This ensures that you are mentally prepared to be a Surrogate.

Often, both Intended Parents and Surrogates will work with reproductive lawyers to ensure that everything is on the right side of the law. When this is done, it is impossible for the Surrogate Mother to gain custody of the child.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today. We can talk to you about your options and help you to understand what it means to be a Surrogate Mother.

You can also contact us if you are looking to find a Surrogate to help you complete your family.

Why Should Gay Couples Work with a Surrogacy Agency?

If you want to take the surrogacy journey, you absolutely need to work with a surrogacy agency that you know you can trust. For most people, going with a surrogacy agency offers peace of mind for a few different reasons. The primary reason is that you will have people holding your hand and helping you to make decisions that are safe, legal, and smart. 

For gay couples, it becomes even more important to work with a surrogacy agency to become parents. While the process is the same, there are some nuances here and there that an agency will help you navigate. They include:

You Work With People Who Know The Ins & Outs Of Surrogacy

Surrogacy can get pretty complicated. Not complicated enough to not do it, but complicated enough that you should work with someone who knows what they are doing. Sometimes, there are situations that benefit from having someone who has been there before. A surrogacy agency has experts that can help to smooth out any bumps and make the process that much easier. Even more importantly, they will handle all of the behind-the-scenes work that can take a lot of time.

When the experts focus on that stuff, you get to focus on enjoying your journey and preparing for the baby.

Surrogacy Has A Lot Of Laws & Regulations

As you can imagine, there is a lot of paperwork and regulations involved in surrogacy. Some states are friendlier than others when it comes to surrogacy. Your own journey will be restricted to your state, the state where your Surrogate lives, and the state where your agency is. 

Before you even start going through the surrogacy process, the agency will help you to understand what the laws are for every state, how they impact you, and how to ensure you proceed legally and safely for everyone. The agency has people who stay on top of any changes or shifts so that everyone is up to date.

Someone Will Always Be Looking Out For You

While everyone always hopes that the process is extremely smooth and easy, the truth is that problems can emerge and bumps in the road happen. Having an agency means that you have a built-in support system that is looking for your best interests, the best interests of the baby, and the best interests of your Surrogate. Having an agency of experts means that you will have someone who can walk you through every decision that you make. They can connect you to other Intended Parents, match you with your Surrogate, and ensure you work with the best doctors.

With an agency, you will have connections that you will not get any other way.

EDSI Will Guide Your Surrogacy Journey

Having a guiding hand through any change in your life is important. When you become a parent, you will learn from those around you who have already been there. Working with a surrogacy agency can help you to:

  • Match with Egg Donors and Surrogates.
  • Coordinate medical care including OB/GYN and hospital stays for your Surrogate.
  • Connect you to parental support groups;
  • Provide you with a support system throughout pregnancy;
  • Assist with the legal elements of surrogacy;
  • Preparing for the birth;
  • Detailing financial support

As agencies have been through this before, they likely have a formula they will follow that works. EDSI continues to learn and grow, finding new and better ways to serve our Intended Parents, Egg Donors, and Surrogates on a daily basis.

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

Using a Surrogate Database: A Guide For Intended Parents

If you are looking for a Surrogate, there is a chance that you will be using a Surrogate Database. This isn’t a difficult thing to navigate, but it can be a little bit confusing or overwhelming if you are just starting out. Don’t worry if you have to ask questions or ask for help – there is a lot going on. However, we thought that we could walk you through some of the information you will receive and some of the tools that you can use to help you find the best Surrogate possible.

You Will Get A Lot of Important Information

All of the Surrogates that we work with have been pre-vetted and have filled out informational sheets that have key facts that will help you to make your decision. You will get a biography of the Surrogate, education information, medical history, genetic history, and her motivation for becoming a Surrogate.

Of course, you will also get some other information that can help you to make a decision. You will find out about her previous pregnancies, her own family, and anything else that could help you make a decision. You will find out if she is willing to carry multiples, if this is her first time being a Surrogate, and more. You can find Surrogates from all different walks of life.

How To Narrow It Down

There are a lot of Surrogate options out there, so you need to be able to narrow down your options to certain criteria. Often, you want to find a Surrogate that is located near you or willing to carry multiples. Maybe you want a Surrogate of a certain age. 

You might also want to narrow down the database to specific types of women. Maybe you want a Surrogate who has a particular lifestyle, it is all up to you. The more you can narrow it down, the easier it will be to make a decision.

If you want to work with someone who has already been a Surrogate with EDSI you can even search for that.

Some Information Requires An Account

Of course, you can browse our database and look for information without really having an account, but most of the information will require an account. We do this just to help maintain the security and safety of our Surrogates as well as to help them remain discreet. It doesn’t take long to get an account started.

If you are interested in working with EDSI and using a Surrogate, please reach out to our team to get more access to the database, which includes more complete profile information.

Interested In Building Your Family Through Surrogacy? Give Us A Call Today

Throughout your surrogacy journey, we are here for you. We recruit Egg Donors and Surrogates to match them with you as an Intended Parent, whether you cannot conceive on your own, whether you are a single parent or gay parents. From there, we seamlessly orchestrate the fertility journey through pregnancy and delivery. We make it a rule to be active problem solvers and advocates for our clients, making your experience pleasant and hassle-free.

It would be our honor to help you grow your family. Please give us a call today so that we can start building your family on your own schedule. We look forward to continuing our conversation with you.

 

Contact

Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute (EDSI)

8624 Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, CA 90211

edsi@eggdonorandsurrogacy.com

(866) 344-3662

Surrogacy Process California

6 Little Known Perks Of Being A Surrogate

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, you are doing so because you want to help a family achieve a goal they’ve had for a long time. You are helping them become parents and that is a precious gift that most people aren’t able to give. But what is in it for you? Of course, most people know that there is satisfaction in doing something so selfless, as well as financial benefits.

Even so, there are many more benefits that you might not realize.

You Get To Meet New People

Do you love to meet new people? When you become a Surrogate, you will meet a bunch of new people throughout the process, whether they are caseworkers, the Intended Parents, or other Surrogates. You will have a little circle around you that will make the experience all that much more special.

You Get To Pamper Yourself

Included with your Surrogacy is a chance to pamper yourself, get massages, and take care of your body in ways that you might not get any other time. Whether you love massages or you’ve never had one before, you will be able to experience it now.

It May Give You A New Perspective

Many Surrogates have talked to our team about feeling like a new person once they’ve given this gift. They are more thankful for what they have and what their bodies are able to do.

Whether you are a Surrogate one time or multiple times, each journey will give you a new perspective on life.

You Get To Experience The Joy Of Pregnancy

When women decide that they are done with building their own families, there is often a sense of sadness because they will never experience pregnancy again. With Surrogacy, you get to experience it all again.

You will have Legal Protection

All Surrogates who work with an agency should have access to legal protection that will limit any risk for them. You won’t have to worry about being asked to do something you don’t want to do.

You will Get Some Of The Best Medical Attention

Another perk to being a Surrogate is that you will consistently get some of the best medical attention available to you. Our doctors have all worked with Surrogates before and make the pregnancy as safe as possible. 

Before you sign any contracts, you will be checked out by a doctor to ensure that this is a safe venture to take.

 

Ready To Start Your Surrogacy Journey? Contact Us Today

Finding the right fit can be quite difficult, and as this is a big decision to make taking all the time you need to make those decisions is imperative. We are here for you whenever you make that choice. We are happy to give you more information now or schedule your consultation. If you need some help with self-care throughout your journey, we have resources to provide you with the care that you will appreciate and that will make you feel like the incredible woman that you are.

Surrogacy is an extremely rewarding experience that will change your life forever. If you are ready to get started on the surrogacy process, make sure to contact us today.

 

Contact

Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute (EDSI)

8624 Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, CA 90211

edsi@eggdonorandsurrogacy.com

(866) 344-3662