What to Do When a Loved One Is Your Surrogate

Finding a surrogate mother can feel intimidating for an intended parent who has just decided on surrogacy. The matching process can be long and full of trial and error, not to mention the natural hesitations of inviting a stranger to carry out such an intimate task. In rare cases, friends or family members may step up and offer to fill this role for their loved ones. While extremely generous and heartfelt, this kind of surrogacy arrangement can vary from the typical relationship in that it comes with some unforeseen obstacles. Fortunately, there are many successful cases of loved ones carrying children for people they already care about deeply. Read on for tips on what to do when a loved one in your life becomes your surrogate.

Be Open With Each Other

No matter if you’ve asked a family member/friend to be your surrogate or they were the ones who offered, it’s critical that both of you be extremely open with each other as you plan for the journey ahead. It’s a good idea to thoroughly discuss the idea before either party accepts. Discuss pros, cons, and how you will feel if something doesn’t go as planned. Consider what the family or friend dynamic will be like after the childbirth and during pregnancy. Talk with each other about your own motives for surrogacy. For extra help with this, many people use group therapy and trust a professional to help guide them in their decision. Group therapy with the involved families is also a good idea, as surrogacy affects more than just the intended parents and surrogate, so having everyone on board will help ease the process along.

Utilize an Agency

Though many people are excited about the idea of private surrogacy when working with a loved one, it’s a good idea to consider the advantages of using an agency. Agencies are valuable because they have the resources and knowhow necessary for setting up legal agreements and medical care for the surrogate, both efficiently and smoothly. Planning every doctor visit, health screening, and check up during pregnancy can be overwhelming and create stress between loved ones when schedules and timing doesn’t match up. Having an agency to take care of the bulk of this takes one more responsibility off the shoulders of you and your surrogate and helps you enjoy the process that much more. Using an agency for your surrogacy also eliminates many of the awkward feelings that come along with discussing contracts and compensation with loved ones. Each party then has the opportunity to discuss any potential misgivings or demands with the agency, who will then communicate those professionally to the other party involved. At the very least, surrogacy agencies are well trained and committed to success, two traits that are crucial for ensuring a healthy surrogacy and smooth childbirth.

Get Support from EDSI

If you’re looking for a surrogacy agency to help you along your journey, trust in Egg Donor & Surrogacy Institute (EDSI). EDSI is a professional agency that can help surrogate mothers and intended parents throughout the process. Our trained professionals and mentors have both the knowledge and experience to give you a positive experience. If you’re ready to jumpstart your surrogacy process, please contact EDSI at (866) 344-3662 today.



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