As intended parents, finding qualified surrogates is no easy challenge. Working with an agency which carefully vets candidates and makes mindful matches certainly helps streamline the process, but most intended parents have been down an undeniably winding path before starting the surrogacy journey. It’s no surprise, then, that many intended parents are overjoyed when they finally get to meet the woman who will carry their baby. While there’s no rule that says you must go above and beyond things stipulated in the contract you create, it’s common for intended parents to want to do something to show their appreciation. If you fall into this group, but aren’t sure how to go about it, use these ideas as inspiration.
1) Don’t Sweat It; She Gets It
Surrogates usually have their own story which brought them to surrogacy as well. Quite often, it’s a history of infertility or surrogacy which has touched her own life in some way that inspires her to make such a selfless choice. Needless to say, she knows what a monumental thing this is for you and her heart is already overflowing with positive emotions. She saw the look on your face when you met her and agreed to move forward. She likely saw the tears in your eyes during ultrasounds and procedures. She knows what’s in your heart and that’s what matters most. Anything you choose to do with a kind heart will be welcomed.
2) Give Her a Pampering Gift
Particularly as her belly grows, things like pedicures and massages are wonderful ideas. They can help rejuvenate her, reduce her stress, and create a positive vibe. If you’re worried about fumes from the salon, don’t be. The brief exposure is not a concern, experts say. However, be sure you choose a salon you know and trust because unsanitary equipment can be an issue. Massages are also beneficial because they can temporarily relieve some pregnancy symptoms, such as muscle and joint discomfort.
3) Cover Dinner
If you’re working with a surrogacy agency, chances are your surrogate has a child of her own at home, as is customary policy. This is one of the rules because it demonstrates she can have a healthy pregnancy and demonstrates stability. That said, caring for her own children as the pregnancy progresses can be challenging. If you enjoy cooking, prepare one of your favorite dishes for her and her family. As a side benefit, this also gives the baby exposure to the types of food you like while in the womb, so he or she is more likely to enjoy them later in life. If you’re not a chef, you can always order dinner for them or give her a gift card to a restaurant you think she’ll like. In a simple way, it empowers you to care for your baby and help her look after hers.
4) Give Her a Hand-Written Note
For a truly personalized touch, don’t go digital on this one. Take a few moments to write her a letter or jot a note on a card and say whatever’s in your heart at that moment. Chances are, your words will be kept and cherished for years to come.
Find Qualified Surrogates Through EDSI
If you’d like to grow your family but haven’t found the right surrogate yet, the Egg Donor and Surrogacy Institute can help. We work exclusively with surrogates who have proven they’re ready and able to carry a healthy baby. Most importantly, we look for special traits in all our surrogates, such as a sincere desire to help and selfless nature. Then, we match parents and surrogates together based on a myriad of factors to ensure the surrogacy process is as smooth as possible, and guide your team through every step of the journey. View our information for intended parents or call us at 213-423-7997 to learn more.